The Three Climbers
There are 3 boy with the same hobby. Their hobby is
climbing mountains. They often to do it together. They have climbed many
mountains together. One day they decided to climb Mount Everest because it is
the only major mountain that they haven’t climbed yet. They make the plans but
they don’t tell anyone that they were about to climb Mount Everest. They knew
that it was dangerous and they still wanted to do it.
After a few days, they went there and climb it.They
begin to climb the mountain in the morning. They climb and climb until the
afternoon, one climber fell down. Fortunately there were a ledge. He was helped
by the ledge. Because of that, he broke his leg. He still continue his journey.
The day almost dark. They take a rest and spend a night in the mountain. The
temperatue was so cold. The injured man becomes ill.
They spent an
uncomfortable night in the mountain. They waited until the sun comes up and they
were trying to attract the attention from the helicopters. Finally, in the noon,
one helicopter saw them. They were rescued and the injured man was carried to
the nearest hospital immediately.http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02806/Steck_2806686b.jpg
I think your composition is great and i found no grammar mistake but i suggest that you could add more pictures
BalasHapusBe careful with the singular plural, such as 3 hobbies, not hobby.
BalasHapusBe consistent with Present and Past is a must since it can trigger your readers' confusion.
I always think you have a writing talent. The flow is always good and the ideas that you emphasize quite exciting, too. Kepp up your good work.